I’m in the process of boxing up all of my stuff right now so I can do renovations. As I’ve been doing it, I’ve been coming across a lot of stuff that has boggled my mind.

First of all, there’s the absolutely breadth of stuff that really has no business still existing. Newspaper clippings for things I thought was important at the time, handwritten notebooks full of godawful fanfiction, emo teenaged poetry. So many mementos that either make me want to smack my teenaged self in the head or else give her a hug and a warm blow of soup.

Nothing will make you look at your life and your choices like finding a class picture and realizing that the girl sitting in front of you is an Olympian now. I’m not exaggerating. Jessica Phoenix (well, I knew her under her birth name) was in my class all through grade school. She competed as an equestrian in the 2012 Olympics. And there is she, sitting in front of me in our school picture.

I’m not jealous or anything. Jessie worked damn hard to get where she is. Even back when I knew her, she was obsessed with horses. The differences in our respective fields makes our current situations difficult to compare. If you’re an athlete, there’s a set guideline to how the competition goes and if you’re better than everyone else, you win. Being a successful writer involves some sort of sorcery I have yet to uncover (although I have been lead to believe ‘hard work’ is a part of it…)
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I don’t know how much I’ve really changed from back in those days. I found a picture from the newspaper– from the same era as the school photo with Jessie– of the students who wrote for the newspaper. There I am, in my Sherlock Holmes t-shirt. Even going back sixteen years, I’m still a Sherlock Holmes nerd with delusions of being a writer.

I’m tossing a lot of the stuff I’ve found. The old notebooks are going. They just take up too much space and I cringe at the thought of reading through them now. Anything that was important was transcribed onto computer a long time ago. I could get overly sentimental, but there just comes a time when you’ve got to put that stuff aside. No one’s going to weep over the loss of it, least of all me.

But to be honest, I’m really glad I’m still a Sherlock Holmes nerd with delusions of being a writer.